Blog Post

Nostalgia

Megan Poff • December 9, 2020

Grief and Joy in the Holiday Season

Nostalgia. It’s a word that most sums up a complicated emotion when it comes to grief. In the Webster dictionary nostalgia means: "a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition”. The etymology of the word nostalgia comes from combination of the Greek words: “nostos” which means return home and “algos” which means pain.

So nostalgia truly means painful homecoming. It’s apparent to me how this emotion is a tough one. Home is a place of security, familiarity and peace. Pain is an emotion of hurt, discomfort and sorrow. When you combine these two emotions together it is the recognition that you cannot go back to once was, and the holidays are a nostalgic reminder that you cannot have what “once was” when love ones have passed.

In 2015, my Father was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) and my Mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer that same year. As a believer in Christ, it was honestly the most confusing season in my life. Within three years, both of my parents slipped into eternity 18 months apart from one another. Illness had taken their physical well-being. If I’m being honest, it was incredibly hard to reconcile the glorious power of God and His miracles while having death literally surround me.

I was angry. I was hurt. I was heartbroken. I thought... “God, why do you hate me so much to take BOTH of my parents? Why aren’t you the healer that you say you are in your Word? Why me?” I embraced victim-hood so quickly at that time.

But The Most High is long suffering and revealed to me His truth. He brought to me passages in His Word that reminded me I’m not alone in my pain... that Jesus was literally a man of sorrows as mentioned in Isaiah 53:3. That in Him I can find peace and comfort.

So while the holidays approach and the existential dread of being reminded of what I no longer have... my Mom unloading presents from her car or my Dad singing a Christmas Carol somewhat off key, I AM reminded of the greatest gift to mankind Jesus who the Prophet Isaiah spoke of in Isaiah 9:6 “For a child will be born to us, a son will be given unto us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace”

That last name I hold on tightly to... The Prince of Peace. He gives the most ultimate freedom from disturbance, pain and even nostalgia - this is why I keep going in the faith. That is why even though the holidays are hard, I understand that the Savior of the world bore our sorrow, bore our grief and understands us at the deepest level possible.

It is truly the greatest gift imaginable. This is why I can celebrate simultaneously the joy and nostalgia of Christmastime. While, yes... I miss my parents, memories had and sorrow for memories we will not have. I am reminded that this life is a temporary one. Jesus isn’t limited to a holiday, and He gives me as mentioned in Isaiah 61:3 “a crown of beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning.”

Joy to the world, indeed! For Jesus is the greatest gift of all. Remember that as you sing your Christmas carols this year and unwrap your presents from loved ones. It is always and should always be only about Him.

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Meet Megan

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Megan Poff, a coloratura soprano, is most noted for her works in Baroque and 20th Century Music. She is currently serving in the Music Department at York College of Pennsylvania. Her previous collegiate experience was teaching voice and music literature at the University of Alabama in Huntsville.

Megan has taught many area professionals who have performed in local theater venues such as: Sight and Sound Theatres, Fulton Theatre, Dutch Apple Theatre, AMT, PRiMA, Hershey Area Playhouse and numerous National Broadway Tours. Her students have also found success in acceptance to competitive graduate music programs, National Television spots and most notably, Broadway. She is a member of NATS and is currently involved with helping facilitate the next round of auditions locally at the Allegheny Mountain Chapter.

Megan is passionate about teaching all genres of music and has made it a mainstay with instruction to teaching voice. Historical reference, detail to communication with text, pedagogical technique are all foundational elements she provides to her students.